In Between the Silences
by darisu-chan
Summary: Or the three times Urie Kuki realizes he loves his teammates, and the one time he feels loved.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tokyo Ghoul. It all belongs to Ishida Sui.

 **Author's Note:** So today we embark on the last chapter of this amazing manga. As a thank you to Ishida, I wrote this little piece centered on one of the characters that I honestly disliked and then he became one of my favorites. I hope you all enjoy this fanfic. It's short, drabble-ish, and I honestly blame my short narrative course for how this turned out. I really hope you like it.

It doesn't have spoilers for, as of now, the chapter is not out yet. So feel free to read this before the chapter. This is just an interpretation of what I want to happen. If it ends up fitting with the story, then I'd be very happy.

As a final note, I've shipped Urie with all his three teammates, but the relationships portrayed here can be seen as strictly platonic or romantic. I'll leave that interpretation to all of you.

* * *

In Between the Silences

 _Shirazu_

Urie hates Shirazu. There's no other way about it. It doesn't come as a surprise either. Shirazu represents everything Urie Kuki despises in this world. Loud. Obnoxious. Ridiculous. Simple-minded. Becoming squad leader was just the last straw. How could someone as idiotic as Shirazu steal his position and all the advantages that come with it?

Urie is not idealistic. He knows how the world works. If you don't take first, someone else will. They're not ghoul investigators for the better good. They're ghoul investigators because the work comes with more benefits than any other job in their society. Whoever thinks differently is nothing but a fool.

Shirazu is different. Although he didn't take the job for the greater good either, his reasoning was still pure. Saving his sister. And even if he was in for the money as well, he wants to save people. He does whatever possible to help others. He even pities ghouls as well.

What an imbecile, Urie thinks. What a useless idiot, he thinks all the time. That's not how the world works. You need to take to survive. If you don't take advantage of situations and mold them in your favor, you might as well be dead.

Urie hates Shirazu with a burning passion.

But he hates him for things Urie keeps buried down deep in his heart.

He hates Shirazu because he wants to be him.

Because Shirazu is a pure being stuck in a tragic world.

He's so honest and truthful, wearing his heart on his sleeve, for everyone to see.

Urie would never be able to do that. No one would want to see the ugliness he hides.

And there are moments ─few and far in between, but they are there─ in which he wants nothing more than to reach out to Shirazu, take his hand and yell, "This is the real me, Shirazu! This is me! What are you going to do about it?" And he wonders if Shirazu would get scared and leave him by himself, disturbed by the scars in his soul.

Urie's never brave enough to do it. In fact, he's confused by his own feelings.

Why would he want to do that?

It's only when Shirazu's bleeding in his arms, his life slipping away, that Urie understands.

He loves Shirazu.

But it's too late to say anything, for the man has closed his eyes forever.

* * *

 _Mutsuki_

Mutsuki Tooru is an enigma.

At first, Urie did not think much about his teammate. He was shy and far too weak for their line of work, but he always minded his own business. The least annoying of them all. The only thing that Urie hated about him was his devotion to their birdbrained mentor. How could anyone willingly follow Sasaki Haise was beyond him.

But things changed.

Urie would be lying if he said he didn't know when it started. He knows it all too well.

He was an idiot, and even bigger idiot than Sasaki and Shirazu combined, when he decided to ignore orders and continue fighting at the auction.

For his own glory.

For his own gain.

He had put an injured Mutsuki in harm's way, only to fail spectacularly.

He was a fool. He was weak.

(His father would have been so disappointed in him.)

And weak, weak, kind-hearted Mutsuki had saved him, even after he endangered him, even after he _lied_ to him.

When Mutsuki gathered him in his arms, even while bleeding from being impaled, and comforted him. No one had ever done that before. Not even his parents had held him with so much care.

Then a certain truth hit him.

Urie got confused. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't confused even now.

Mutsuki suddenly became important.

He found his opinion of Mutsuki changing and changing until he might as well have called him something akin to a friend.

Then he lost him, only to have him back, transformed into someone else, someone more similar to Urie. Scarred and frightened and hateful.

He hated it.

He hates it now too.

And he lost Shirazu, and he lost Sasaki, and in a way, he lost Mutsuki too.

(He was too dumb to see the signs then.)

Things escalated until there was no trace of the kind-hearted boy Urie had met at the beginning. Until they were no longer teammates. Until Urie doubted if him still cared for him.

And it hits him now that he's there, fighting against Mutsuki for a purpose he has only begun to believe in. It hits with such force he wants to topple over, and scream, and beg. It's the truth. Feelings he had tried to push away for the longest time.

He loves him.

And it's not too late to bring him back home.

* * *

 _Yonebayashi_

The world is cruel. Cruel enough to rip your friends off from your arms.

It's not as cruel, however, as to not bring into existence one Yonebayashi Saiko.

If he's being honest, Urie hated Yonebayashi at the beginning. Not as much as Shirazu or Sasaki, but enough to consider her a pest. Lazy. Loud. _Annoying_. He used to be so glad to not be partnered with her back in the day. He avoided her as much as possible, leaving the hassle of waking her up to Shirazu and Mutsuki.

Ironically, she's the one person who stays when everyone else leaves.

After their teammates are gone, only Saiko remains, all smiles and all attitude, wanting to recover what they had.

She reminds him that not all is lost.

He's thankful for that.

And he's thankful that she stays, right by his side.

Yonebayashi makes him want to become a better leader, a better _friend_. It's not something he would have thought about if he hadn't lost those that were precious to both of them.

He thinks he's doing a better job now, or at least that's what Saiko tells him when she encourages him.

And although he had briefly heard as he recovered his sanity her feelings, he really doesn't think about it again until she walks away, hurt and furious and scared, after urging everyone to save Yoriko, her friend.

He tries to comfort her in his own Urie way.

"Then we'll become terrorists."

Urie says and Yonebayashi beams at him with a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts.

He understands then that he loves her, and he would do just about anything to protect that smile. Even going against the very institution he had always believed in.

* * *

 _Urie_

It's all over.

It's weird to say it but it really is.

Even amongst all the devastation, there's a certain euphoria that comes from the knowledge that they're still _alive_.

As fast as his feet take him, he finds himself rushing to the hospital room where Yonebayashi lies. More pairs of feet follow him. He barges into the room where the sight tears his heart.

"Uri." She calls him and he wants to cry.

Ignoring everyone else, he holds her in his arms as she had hold him so long ago. The girl sobs and holds him tight. Suddenly, a second pair of arms holds them. Turning around, he can see that he's crying too.

"I love you." He whispers to both of them.

Mutsuki makes a noise that it's between a cry and a laugh. "I love you…" He says brokenly.

"I love you two so much. Don't ever leave me." Saiko says, burying her head in Urie's chest.

"Never." He answers.

The rest join them in their hug.

It's a little awkward. He can feel snot on his chest and arms, but he ignores it, for in that moment he feels something he has never felt before.

He feels loved.


End file.
